3 Easy Tips To Keep Gadgets From Interfering In Your Marriage
I can still remember the moment I received my first cell phone. It was given to me by my parents when I was a teenager. They said, “It’s for emergencies.” It was heavy and bulky so it remained in my car’s glovebox, where nobody could reach me. It was a great way to keep it safe. Flash forward five years and everyone in college had cell phones. The new trend was texting and some professors, who were ahead of the curve, were starting to include cell phone policies into their syllabi. My first college girlfriend loved texting as much as she spoke. She would text me during dinner, while we were out, or at the lake. (She still wonders about why we split up.
Many years later, text messaging and phones are no longer enough to distract you from your partner. You have cell phones, tablets, iPads and Kindles. There are also Nooks, TiVo, gaming consoles, and iPods. There are endless possibilities for staying connected. There are so many ways to stay connected. However, there is one rule that will still apply to you and your spouse: Turn off the lights to turn them on.
- Charge your devices downstairs
If you’re like most couples you bring your phone to bed and charge it on your nightstand. Before you plug it in, make sure you check your Facebook page to verify that there are no new posts. You can also check your email while you are waiting to get it out. You’re probably spending a lot of time “just looking” at things before you realize it. Now it’s time to go to bed. Your spouse is probably on her phone, and you haven’t spoken to them in a while. This is a quick and easy solution. Before you go to sleep, do all of the necessary checks. For more reasons than you might think, night time in the bedroom is important for couples. Parents don’t have the distractions of chores or kids in their bedroom. You can also talk to your partner about important issues in your relationship, such as the kids or work. There are many things you can do in your bedroom, even if there is nothing else to do (wink, wink).
- More often, use the silent option
Your phone has a silent mode. It’s not vibrate, but silent. I mean silent. You can set it to absolutely silent so that it doesn’t bother your phone at all. Turn your phone off when you go out with someone. You won’t be distracted by the buzzing of your phone during your date. You won’t be notified by email or updates so you can be present and aware of what’s happening around you.
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In case of an emergency, you can still check your phone while in the bathroom. You won’t feel as tempted to open every notification if your phone is on silent. You’re probably inviting a friend to Candy Crush Saga.
- Don’t forget that electronic games can’t replace board games
Many couples enjoy electronic games with their spouses. One thing I have learned through counseling many couples is that e-games don’t have the same effect on each other like old-fashioned board games. Because you aren’t waiting for your spouse’s turn, you can be surfing the internet, checking out updates, and other activities while they wait. It can reduce the time you spend together.
You and your spouse can have fun playing board games or card games together. This allows you to be present in the moment. Because there is nothing to distract you, you are more in touch with your spouse. You’d be amazed at how different your conversations can be when you play a boardgamey with others than when you do it together. There are many ways to stay connected in the digital world. But, nothing can replace good old-fashioned fun. You can spend quality time together without being distracted by your mobile devices. You will be able to spend more time with your spouse if you are present in the moments that really matter.